Friendship and Gratitude

Always anticipate your friends’ needs, never wait until they have to ask.
(Maria Huxley, wife of Aldous Huxley)

If there’s one person who truly lived up to this statement, she’s my BFF Maan.

Maan and I are friends since we were little. We were classmates from elementary grade through high school.

I remember when she had her first heartbreak, she went to my house. She lost an enormous amount of weight. She was crying while narrating what happened and I was consoling her. Although at that time, I couldn’t truly relate with what she was going through as I never had a boyfriend then. But I tried to find the words to somehow comfort her.

I never had the chance to know her deeply until this year.

I decided to enroll in a school in Makati City late last year where she is currently based. She went home for Christmas and I told her about my plan. I asked her if she could help me find a place to stay and she obligingly agreed to help me.

We had a barkada reunion at home. She stayed for a night and we had a long chat while curling in bed. We practically talked about topics from A to Z til we dosed off.

Early January, she fetched me at the airport for my enrollment. She accompanied me to school and toured me around the city so I can familiarize with my new environment. She even offered her place for me to stay for the duration of my study.

While I was there, she would cook for me and sees to it that I am living comfortably. I tell you, she’s the best cook I have ever known. How I miss her cooking - from pancake, adobong manok, fried shrimp in butter, sinigang, java rice, pesto, itlog na maalat, and the sauce complete with all the condiments.

From work she will arrive with pasalubong for me - a box of donuts, a can of chocolate cookies, pastillas or a microwaveable food.

We would go shopping together in high end shops if we have money and in some tiangge at Guadalupe, Divisoria or Ukay-ukay when we're broke.

We go to different churches on Sundays with friends Donna and Jorel.

We spend some free time talking about our successes and failures, hopes and dreams, secrets, and life in general.

Through her I have discovered that I can buy real good, useful and inexpensive stuff at Japan Homes.

She was the one who introduced me to the world of Internet. She helped me buy my first ever lap top and the new one as well. Spending half a day at Greenhills to find a good bargain. She is an I.T. herself and can tinker the computer with all good dexterity.

When the lease contract in the apartment expired, she helped me find a place to transfer. She even assisted me when I moved to my new place carrying some of my stuff herself.

When I was heartbroken and was totally disheveled, she patiently listened to me like a broken record. She is indeed a good counsel. Telling you things as they are, no matter how painful they may be. In effect, delivering you from further disaster.

During the first Sunday of my exam, she volunteered to prepare for my packed lunch. She arrived at my doorstep at four in the morning drenched as it was heavily raining. She gave me a bunch of orchid flowers complete with a good luck card, tissue paper, energy oat bar, sandwich and two canned juice. She even consorted me to the examination venue complete with a kiss and a hug.

I have learned a lot of things from her and I will forever be indebted to her.

Maan is a woman with a truly genuine, generous, thoughtful and a big, loving heart. I admire her in every way. She is beautiful inside and out. She is smart and tough. I can only wish all the best things in life for her for she truly deserves no less.

I thank God for giving me a friend like her. The opportunity of knowing her is truly a privilege.

Da, daghan kaayong salamat ha? I wish I could repay your goodness in my own little way.

God bless you. I love you always Da and missing you sorely. Mwahhhhhhhh!

Lulinghayaw by ferlene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at ferlene.blogspot.com.
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DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

Everyone of us goes through times when life seems extremely difficult - we are left alone, we can’t pay the bills, we have lost our job, we have lost a loved one. At these times we wonder how we could possibly make it through the next week. Somehow, we usually do!

It is possible to lose our perspective, and to paint the picture gloomier than it really is. We look toward a future which seems to be a minefield of problems and wonder how any human being would cope with what we face.

A person embarking on a day’s march would be foolish to carry enough provisions for a lifetime. It is not strange then, that many people carry around all their worries for the next twenty-five years and wonder why life is so difficult? We were designed to live twenty-four hours at a time. No more. It is pointless worrying about tomorrow’s problems today.

Next time you find despairing, ask yourself these questions -
Have I got enough air to breathe?
Have I enough food for today?
( If the answer is “Yes”, things are already looking up!).

We often overlook the fact that our most important needs are being met. I like the story of a man who phoned Dr. Schuller. The conversation went this way.

The man said, “It’s over. I’m finished. All my money has gone. I’ve lost everything.”
Dr. Schuller asked, “Can you still see?”
The man replied, “Yes, I can still see.”
Schuller asked, “Can you still walk?”
The man said, “Yes, I can still walk.”
Schuller said, “Obviously you can still hear or you would’nt have phoned me.”
“Yes, I can still hear.”
“Well’” Schuller said, “I figure you have got about everything left. All you have lost is your money!”

Another question we can ask ourselves is “What is the worst that could happen? And if it did, would I still be alive?” So often, we magnify things out of proportion. The worst that could happen is probably very inconvenient, but not the end of the world.

The next question to ask yourself is, “Am I taking myself too seriously?” Have you ever noticed that you can lose a week’s sleep over something that your friends would never give a second thought? This is often because we take ourselves too seriously. We figure the whole world is watching. It is not. And so what if it is? No doubt you are living your life the best way know how.

Next question, “What am I learning from this situation?” With hindsight, looking through a “retrospectoscope”, we can generally learn from our difficult times. The hard bit is being balanced and aware enough to learn while we are suffering - or why we are suffering. The happiest people tend to be able to always see their hard times as a valuable learning experience. They keep their chins up, they keep a smile on their faces, they know things will improve and that they will emerge from their trials better people. This is easier said than done!

Another question: If things really seem serious, will I be OK for the next five minutes? Once you have made it through those five minutes, just aim at getting through the next five. Bite off one small chunk at a time. It saves a lot of indigestion. Also, keep yourself busy. Give yourself a five minute job into which you can put your total energy. We always feel so much better when we are busy.

What else can I do?

Probably the greatest way to feel better about yourself is to do something for somebody else. Excessive worry and self-pity grow out of self-preoccupation. The moment you start to make other people happy, whether you are sending them flowers or digging their garden or giving them your time, you feel better! It is automatic. It is simple. And wonderful.

In a Nutshell

Disasters aren’t so disastrous if we tackle them a piece at a time. Also, the sooner that we recognize what we stand to gain from the experience, the easier it is to deal with.

Being Happy
Andrew Matthews